Dear Weston

Dear Weston,

Any day now, your world is going to change.  Mama and Daddy are going to go to the hospital and have your brother or sister.  You aren't going to be the center of our world anymore.  You will be sharing that with the new baby.  However, our love for you will always be the same.  Our love will not be divided, only multiplied.  After all, YOU are the baby that made us a Mommy and Daddy. 

You will be a GREAT big brother.  I'm sure it won't be smooth at first, for any of us.  None of us have done this before; Daddy and I have never had two children and you've never had to share your attention.  I worry that since you have no idea what is about to happen, that you will act out and get upset more quickly.  I hope in a few years that you and the baby will be best friends and will grow up looking out for each other.  Daddy and I believe that, if God sees fit, every child should have a sibling.  This way, you have a buddy, a confidant, and someone to share inside jokes with. 

I can't wait for you to meet your sibling and watch your love grow for them.  I know you will be confused because for the last 10 months, the "baby" has just been my belly.  You have shown the baby love by kissing my belly and that was enough.  The baby hasn't made any noise, wanted any of my attention or wanted you to share any of your toys with it. That's going to change and I know you won't understand.  That's ok though.  I will do my best to explain everything to you as we go along.  I know you will be such a great helper for Mommy.  You can bring me diapers, help feed and soothe the baby and bring the baby toys.  You are such a smart boy, so I know you will teach the baby so much.

Yesterday, knowing that our one-on-one time is short, I let you come and watch a movie (Cars 2, your favorite right now) in my bed during naptime.  You were absolutely thrilled when I brought your blankie and pillow into my bed. About 5 minutes before the movie ended, you fell asleep.  I just laid there and watched you sleep and cherished the time we had together. You seemed to really enjoy having the opportunity to be in Mommy and Daddy's bed.  Babies don't get to take naps in Mommy and Daddy's bed, just big boys like you.  We'll definitely have to do that more often.  I hope you will want to continue having quiet time/naps in our room.

I hope you have fun at Mamma and Papa's house and enjoy playing with the puppy dogs.  Please don't be scared that Mommy is in the hospital.  You were born in a hospital too.  Hospitals are where it is most safe for your brother or sister to be born.  I will miss you so, so much while I am away.  After all, this will be the longest that I will have been away from you since you were born.  You can come visit whenever you would like and before you know it, Mommy, Daddy, brother or sister and you will all be back home starting our new life as a family of four.

Please don't ever forget that we love you very, very, very much and always will.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

What Have I Done?!

I have a doctor's appointment this morning.  As much as I'd like the doctor to give me an induction date so that this long, painful, sickly pregnancy can come to an end, I don't want to know when the last day with just Weston will be.  I'd also like to go into labor on my own, since I had to be induced with Weston too.

Ten months ago, it seemed like a really good idea to give Weston a sibling.  However, now that I have a very short time left, I'm wondering how big this mistake is.

Now, I am NOT calling Baby #2 a mistake AT ALL.  The "mistake" I am talking about is all in my head, I'm sure. I'll bullet point and rationalize these thoughts, maybe it will help.

• Weston is not going to get all of the attention anymore.  How will he deal with that?
  Weston is two.  He won't remember the difference and after a few weeks with the new baby, he'll adjust just fine.
• Weston is only two and has no idea what is about to occur in his life.
  Weston IS only two, so he won't remember life before the baby arrives.
• Weston is and has been my and Doug's primary focus for almost 26 months now. How can I give him adequate time and attention, especially in the early weeks when I am so exhausted I can't even see straight?
  That's what teamwork is for.  Each parent focuses on one child.  One-on-one defense, I guess.
• What if Weston hates us for having another baby?
  Weston doesn't know what hate is and when he does find out what it is, the baby will be old news.
• I've been told parenting two children is a lot harder than parenting one.  It's not just double the work like one would think.
  If parenting subsequent children really was as difficult as people have said, there wouldn't be nearly as many siblings in this world as there are and there certainly wouldn't be families with more than 2 children.  If I go into parenting two children with no expectations of how our daily life will be, I will be neither happy, nor disappointed if something doesn't work out.
• Will Weston be scared seeing me in the hospital and unable to go home with him?
  When I was hospitalized for hyperemesis, he came to visit and didn't seem scared.  Of course, it was only one night and he's older now, but hopefully he'll still not care.

These are only a few of my concerns, but only time will tell how they all work out.  I'm also pretty sure that I'm not the first nor will I be the last mom/parent to have these concerns.  Everyone tells me to just breathe and enjoy having my children close together, because soon my fears will be dating, college and an empty nest.